How to be a loving parent
I love the topic of parenting because it is real and complex. Parenthood means responsibility, joy, and sometimes stress. There are many ways you can learn and grow as a parent, but there are also some actions you must avoid to ensure your children have a healthy upbringing.
In this article, I will introduce you to ten actions you should avoid to prevent becoming a toxic parent. It is perfectly normal to feel unsure sometimes about how to best interact with your children. But the most important thing is that you are willing to work on yourself and do what is best for your children. Let's take a look together at the things you should better avoid.
No critical comparisons
One of the biggest mistakes many parents make is comparing their children to each other. If you constantly compare your child to siblings, friends, or neighbors, it can lead to low self-esteem. Every child is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing, you should appreciate the individual talents and personalities of your children and encourage them in their own abilities. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small they may seem.
It is important to create a positive environment where your child feels safe and can recognize their talents. Avoid making comments like, 'Why can’t you do this as well as your brother?' Such statements can have negative effects on your child's psyche. Instead, try to encourage them for their small steps and focus on their own progress. Positive reinforcement can work wonders.
Emotional availability
Another important point is emotional availability. If you are physically present but emotionally absent, it can be extremely frustrating and painful for your child. It is essential that you schedule time for your children and actively participate in their lives. A simple conversation about their day or playing together can help strengthen the bond. Make sure to give them your full attention and take them seriously.
Often, we as parents are distracted, whether by phones, work, or other obligations. Therefore, it is even more important to take time and interact purposefully with your children. Find routines where you are truly present. Whether it’s a shared meal, regular playtime, or an outing, all of this contributes to making your children feel emotionally supported. These moments create a strong foundation for your relationship.
Setting boundaries without punishment
Another important aspect of parenting is how you set boundaries for your children. A toxic behavior would be enforcing these boundaries through punishment. Instead, you should try to communicate with your child in a positive way. Explain why certain behaviors are not okay and what positive alternatives there are for behaving instead. Children should understand that there are rules not to punish them but to help them be safe and happy.
Gentle discipline can help promote behavioral changes sustainably. Instead of punishing, you could help your children understand the consequences of their behavior. This brings them closer to empathy and responsibility. It helps your child not only learn in the present but also gives them tools for the future.
In the end, love for parenting is the most important thing. Every parent makes mistakes, but what matters is that you learn from those mistakes and strive to grow. You are a role model, and if you are open to change, your children will notice. They will see that you are doing your best to be a loving and supportive parent. Be patient with yourself and your children. Challenges will come, but you are not alone in this process.
In a world that is constantly changing, parenting can be challenging. But if you take these things to heart and consciously work on your parenting, you will not only become a better parent but also lead a happier family life. Remember that it’s not about being perfect but about making an effort and raising your children with love and respect.